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Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, by Dr. Rick Brinkman, Dr. Rick Kirschner
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The international bestseller--��more than 500,000 copies sold!
With their 1994 international bestseller, Dealing with People You Can't Stand, Drs. Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner armed a civility-starved world with no-nonsense strategies for dealing with difficult people with tact and skill. Since then, cell phones, the Internet, voice mail, and other technological wonders designed to bring people closer together have only made it that much harder to avoid "people you can't stand;" even worse, they've also created exciting new ways for annoying people to realize their talent for being pains in the butt.
Updated and revised for the digital age, this new edition of Brinkman and Kirschner's bestselling guide shows readers how to successfully combat the whiners, grenades, tanks, snipers, close-talkers, pedants, and other rude, crude, and inconsiderate people who can ruin your day at work, in stores, on the street, in restaurants, at the movies, in waiting rooms, by fax, phone, and E-mail, and in cyberspace.
- Sales Rank: #342861 in Books
- Published on: 2002-02-27
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .61" w x 6.00" l, .93 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
From the Back Cover
How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst!...Now Totally Revised for a New Generation of Bothersome Behaviors
Since this best-selling book first appeared, the world has changed dramatically.
Technology has spawned a whole new breed of annoyances. From cell-phone chatters to E-mail spammers to voice-mail hogs, life today is filled with even more people you can't stand!
It's the guy in the supermarket line who is talking on his cell phone instead of unloading his cart...
It's the E-mail "buddy" who jams your in-box with annoying jokes, petitions, and other junk mail...
It's the boss who behaves like a bully and a petty tyrant, and has the power to get away with it...
It's the co-worker who promises results, but never delivers when the chips are down...
At best, such people can make life stressful and unpleasant. At worst, they can keep you from achieving important goals. The good news is that you don't have to let them do either! It's fully within your power to bring out the best behavior in people who are at their worst.
Sound impossible? It's not. Just ask the millions who have benefited from Brinkman and Kirschner's proven, innovative approach to dealing with difficult people. From this one-of-a-kind guide, you'll learn:
- How to identify 10 bothersome behaviors, and deal successfully with each of them!
- How difficult people think, what they fear, and why they act the way they do.
- How to use advanced, sophisticated "listening techniques" to unlock the doors to people's minds, hearts, and deepest needs.
- How to cultivate nine "take-charge" skills that turn conflict into cooperation by reducing the differences between people.
- How to change the destructive behavior of the tank...the know-it-all...the grenade...the whiner...and many more!
About the Author
Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner are naturopathic physicians, professional speakers, and trainers, and the coauthors of the bestselling audio and video tapes How to Deal with Difficult People, which have sold more than 300,000 copies. Since 1980, they have shared their insights with audiences across the nation and around the world through their company, R&R Productions.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
The master YODA book in dealing with A-holes in your life...MUST READ top 10
By King B
this book is a MUST HAVE for the manager, foreman, supervisor, director, etc. It is a little Thick AND dry in the first chapters explaining the psychology and mindsets of personality types. But then gives REAL world drills and scenarios.
I have been able to diffuse arguments, deal with exploding bosses tempers, encourage whiners to step up, Put the pin back into hand grenades, taken enemy fire from tank mentalities..and more.
If you want to survive the office/workplace drama the you must pick up this book and read it with highliters. and re read to polish up skills...even works with teenagers! and other hard to get along with in-laws...
16 of 19 people found the following review helpful.
You Have to Change Your Response First
By The Spinozanator
I saw an opportunity to apply a technique from this book on my 16 yr old for an event that was potentially a daily problem. It immediately worked and I have not had that problem with him since. Most of the interpersonal problems I see at home or in the work place are really kind of petty and involve
1) Misunderstanding the other person's motives
2) No effective plan to clear the air
The two Ricks offer us simple ways to address the issue. In the process, one gains insight into what the other person was thinking and how the affair got out of hand. In every case, the techniques involve confrontation, but controlled, minimally threatening, and supportive to the behavior-impaired party.
The secret to handling difficult people, as pointed out in the book, is a modification in your response to their behavior, i.e., the initial change has to be yours! In some cases, they can be totally disarmed quite easily by the right words.
Some of the "caricatured" examples in the Ricks' book are sick and would just require too much maintenance and/or a referral to a psychiatrist. Real crazies are not going to give up whatever wierd secondary gains they're getting from their idiotic methods. Even those, however, would be at least temporarily susceptible to the empathetic & helpful confrontational yet supportive techniques this book offers.
Since everyone usually possesses at least a few of these 10 difficult personality characteristics to some degree, it's hard not to see yourself in this book. This was appropriately humbling for me and I am finding myself to be more tolerant of others. What more can you ask of a self-help book?
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent quick read for managers and others who have to deal with conflict
By Patrick D. Goonan
This is an excellent, well-written, humorous and very practical book on dealing with difficult personalities. It is a quick read, but it is packed with useful information for dealing with different personality types at their worst.
In this book, the authors identify ten basic personalities that fall at different points between two dimensions: aggression-passivity and whether they are primarily task-oriented or people-oriented. It is a very simple model, but it is powerful and works well in a business environment.
There are many good stories, cartoons and boxes with summaries of how to handle various types of people in difficult situations. I have field-tested the ideas and they are sound and work well in practice.
Having insight into your own style is also worth being aware of. You will no doubt see yourself in these pages and more than likely will laugh out loud. More importantly, you will also raise your awareness so that you will have more choice in difficult situations.
This book should be on all managers shelves. It is a useful tool for deciphering the behavior of people much different from yourself.
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